Personal boundaries are physical, emotional, mental, and energy restrictions you set to protect yourself from being abused, blamed, controlled, gaslighted, manipulated, or violated by others. Personal boundaries let you separate your identity, thoughts, and feelings from others.
This protection and separation is your right and unique expression. If you don’t take responsibility for this protection and separation, you tend to believe that your self-worth comes from others, which allows others to abuse, blame, control, gaslight, manipulate, or violate you.
This protection helps you determine the behavior of others and yourself in a very clear way. For example, when they violate your boundaries, they are aggressive. When you defend and enforce your boundaries, you are assertive.
This separation reminds you to manage your own emotions, rather than taking the emotions of others as your responsibility, which saves you from feeling too much, because in addition to your emotions, you also unconsciously treat others’ emotions as your own.
The more you enforce your boundaries, the more they will become filters for what is acceptable and unacceptable in your life and set clear limits for others to follow and respect, which will lead to more assertiveness, self-respect, self-esteem, self-love, and self-care.
The objective way to define personal boundaries is through your responsibility to others, because your personal boundaries are where your responsibility ends and their responsibility begins. This prevents you from doing things for others that they should do for themselves.
This also prevents you from saving others from the consequences of their actions which they need to experience in order to grow. This also prevents you from crossing your boundaries by not fulfilling your responsibilities.
This is your life. You know your value, what you need, and what you want most. You are responsible for your life. As a result, this also prevents others from making decisions for your life. This also prevents you from making decisions for others’ life.
When others try to push their responsibilities onto you, this will inform you that they are trying to cross your boundaries. When others suffer from the consequences of failing to fulfill their responsibilities, this will inform you not to cross your boundaries to save them.
When you fail to fulfill your responsibilities, this will inform you that you are crossing your boundaries, and you can’t expect others to save you, because this is what you need to experience in order to grow.
When others make decisions for your life, this will inform you that they are crossing your boundaries. When you make decisions for others’ life, this will inform you that you are crossing their boundaries. There are exceptions to these clear points.