Expectations and Disappointments

1) It’s human nature to have expectations.

2) No one ever disappoints you. Your expectations of them disappoint you.

3) They are toxic when they hold you accountable to expectations you didn’t agree to.

4) You give away your power when you think you are responsible for their disappointment. You are responsible for what you do and don’t do, not their expectations and disappointments of you.

5) There are healthy and unhealthy expectations. Healthy expectations are often based on clearly communicated agreements and responsibilities. Unhealthy expectations are often uncommunicated and based on assumptions and mental stories.

6) Healthy expectations often form the basis of your personal boundaries. For example, you expect to be treated with kindness, love, affection, and respect from loved ones and friends.

7) You are responsible for your expectations and disappointments. They are responsible for breaking their agreement with you.

8) It’s perfectly fine to disappoint someone who has unhealthy or unrealistic expectations of you.

9) Staying away from those who blame you for their disappointment from their unhealthy or unrealistic expectations of you is self-care.

10) Manipulation is when they keep giving you false hope and then disappoint you. Every time they do this, they are slowly killing your heart.

11) Expectations breed disappointment. Disappointment can breed resentment. Repeated resentment can breed hatred and increase the passive-aggressive tendency. Hatred is a form of negative energy that you carry in your body. It’s hard to be present and heal when you are hating.

12) You communicated with someone and made an agreement with them. You expect them to do what they agreed. This is a healthy expectation. If they don’t, you may be disappointed. Disappointment is just part of life. Especially when you are dealing with people who lack integrity.

13) When someone disappoints you, practice not taking it personally, but seeing it as an opportunity to improve yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Take a deep breath and feel your disappointment. Release it and process what happened.

14) If your expectations are healthy, treat this as them crossing your boundaries and adjust accordingly. Reframe your relationship with them if necessary. If your expectations are unhealthy or unrealistic, practice detaching and letting go of these expectations.

15) Clear communication, boundaries, and understanding are essential to maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself and others. Communicate what you expect from them and form agreements with them. Encourage them to do the same.

In Case You Didn’t Know, It Is Impossible to Disappoint Anyone, Including Yourself

It is impossible to disappoint others because you don’t disappoint them, their expectations of you disappoint them. You are not responsible for their expectations of you.

It is impossible to disappoint yourself because you can only disappoint your expectations of yourself and you are not your expectations. You are responsible for your expectations of yourself.

However, you can fail to fulfill your responsibilities. In this case, you will violate your boundaries, and you cannot expect someone to save you from the consequences of your actions, because this is what you need to experience in order to grow.