Consciously Reframe Your Story Related to Your Negative Emotions

Your story related to your negative emotions may be fantasy or reality. If possible, be aware of your story, don’t make any assumptions, don’t blindly believe it to be true, and check the facts. If necessary, communicate with others.

Example 1:
• You failed.
• You are disappointed.
• The story related to your disappointment is activated.
• The story tells you “You are not good enough. You will never amount to anything. You will always be a failure.”

Reframe → No! I am good enough. I am worthy. I did my best. I learn from failure. I am getting better and better. I will succeed.

Example 2:
• You ask your lover to do something for you.
• Your lover says “no”.
• You are upset.
• The story related to your upset is activated.
• This story tells you “She doesn’t love you. If she loves you, she will say yes.”

Reframe → No! She loves me. Her “no” is her boundaries. I love her and I respect her boundaries.

Example 3:
• Someone disagrees with you.
• You feel angry.
• The story related to your anger is activated.
• The story tells you “They attacked me! They are mean!”

Reframe → No! They didn’t attack me. Disagreement does not mean attack. They are entitled to their own opinions. I am entitled to my own opinions. We can agree to disagree.

Example 4:
• You supported someone.
• They don’t support you.
• You feel sad.
• The story related to your sadness is activated.
• The story tells you “They don’t deserve my support! I supported them. They don’t support me.”

Reframe → No! Their world does not revolve around me. They may be very busy, not realizing that I need support, or supporting me in their own way. I need to clearly communicate my needs with them.

Reminder: Consciously reframing your story related to your negative emotions is one of the keys to conscious living.

Some Possible Messages of Your Negative Emotions

Your negative emotions usually come bearing their own important messages. These messages direct your attention to what is happening in your life and often urge you to take action. Here are some common negative emotions and their possible messages:

• You are sad.
• You are hurt.
• You are afraid.
• You are vulnerable.
• You need to change.
• Your boundaries have been crossed.
• Your need to enforce your boundaries.

• You are in danger.
• You expect to suffer losses.
• You are attached and may be forced to detach.
• You are connected and may be forced to disconnect.
• You need to ground yourself.
• You need to love the part of you that is afraid.

• You are insecure.
• You are angry or annoyed.
• You cannot meet your needs.
• You cannot change or achieve something.
• You need to focus on what you can do.
• You need to accept what cannot be changed.

• You care.
• You have empathy.
• You need to pay attention to your behavior.
• You think you have done something wrong, but you have not corrected your mistake.
Note: Without empathy, you cannot feel guilty.

• You are angry.
• You are afraid.
• You feel disgusted.
• You envy people you hate.
• You need to focus on yourself.
• You need to love the part of you that is hating.

• You are stressed.
• You are annoyed.
• You are impatient.
• You are slightly angry.
• You are allergic to something.
• You need to be alone.
• You need to calm yourself.
• You need to be compassionate.

• You lack trust.
• You are afraid.
• You are insecure.
• Your self-esteem may be low.
• You may have unrealistic expectations.
• You need to trust.
• You need to be grateful.

• You are sad.
• You feel bad.
• You are frustrated.
• You are disappointed.
• You have done it before.
• You need to feel, accept, let go, and move on.

• You are bitter.
• You are angry.
• You are not being heard.
• You think you have been mistreated.
• You think you have been treated unfairly.
• You may have unrealistic expectations.
• You need to identify and take action from where you have power.
• You need to let go of anything that you have no power.
• You need to be grateful.

• You are in despair.
• You suffered a loss.
• You are disappointed.
• You are at a disadvantage.
• You need to let go of something.
• You need to be courageous and strong.

• You regret.
• You hate yourself.
• You judge yourself.
• You feel dishonored.
• You see your entire self in a negative light.
• You need to know that you are not your shame.
• You need to reconnect with yourself.

How to Feel Your Negative Emotions 101

Try the following steps to feel your negative emotions:

  1. Breathe.
  2. Tell yourself “I am not my negative emotions.”
  3. Breathe.
  4. Feel them.
  5. Become them.
  6. Breathe.
  7. Tell yourself “I am not my negative emotions.”
  8. Breathe.
  9. Let them go.
  10. Breathe.
  11. If necessary, repeat these steps.

When feeling your negative emotions, beware of these tendencies:

  1. Judging your negative emotions.
  2. Denying your negative emotions.
  3. Shaming your negative emotions.
  4. Escaping your negative emotions.
  5. Resisting your negative emotions.
  6. Minimizing your negative emotions.
  7. Invalidating your negative emotions.
  8. Suppressing your negative emotions.
  9. Thinking about your negative emotions.
  10. Pretending your negative emotions do not exist.
  11. Telling yourself you shouldn’t feel a certain way.
  12. Thinking about the stories or beliefs related to your negative emotions.

If you find yourself doing these things, stop because you are not feeling your negative emotions. Gently pull the focus back to feeling your negative emotions.

General rules:

  1. Your negative emotions are valid.
  2. There is no wrong or right way to feel.
  3. Your negative emotions demand to be felt.
  4. It’s okay to feel your negative emotions.
  5. The more you suppress your negative emotions, the more depressed you will be.
  6. You need to feel these negative emotions to release their energy from your system.
  7. Be gentle with yourself. Take your time.
  8. Practice makes perfect.

An Inner Method

Many years ago, the Enlightened One taught me an inner method. He told me to watch my anger rise and dissipate. I thought it was nonsense, but I respected and trusted him, so I started practicing this method.

I had a lot of practice opportunities because most of the time I was angry. I kept practicing this method of watching the rise and dissipation of anger. I didn’t realize that this method could also help me raise awareness.

I practiced this method for about 5 years. One day, I suddenly realized that my anger had disappeared. I didn’t know what to do and then somehow I knew to use the same method for other negative emotions.

I continued to practice, and watching my negative emotions rise and dissipate was almost second nature. My inner world began to become gentle, and my life experience began to become pleasant.

I hope this inner method will benefit you.