How I Stopped Hating My Mother – A Strange Experience

My mother is an alpha narcissist. I used to hate her very much. I also projected my self-hatred onto her.

The Enlightened One knew I hated my mother. I think he told me things about my mother to help me reduce hatred.

One time he told me that when I returned to the United States, I should kneel in front of my mother and apologize to her. He even told me what to say to her and rehearsed with me.

The truth was that I didn’t fucking want to, and I was irritated by him, but I respect him, so I said yes.

When I flew back and saw my mother, I knelt in front of her, and I started to recite what the Enlightened One told me.

“Mom, I have not been a good son. I have caused you so many worries and troubles. I am sorry. From now on, I will be a good son.”

At that moment, my world changed.

My heart opened and expanded outward. There was nothing but love. So much love. My body felt like it was dying. I could not stand this much love. I was One with all living beings.

I had no idea that’s what I was. I had been so foolish. I started crying. I walked around in that state for four hours. I saw ants, and I was willing to die for them, because their lives are the same as mine. I saw trees and I knew they knew. Mother Nature smiled at me. Everyone was me in different forms.

After this strange experience, I no longer hate anyone, including myself. I have experienced spontaneous hatred several times, but it did not last long.

Published by

Inner Practitioner

Some awareness, emotion, energy, experience, feeling, healing, inner method, inner practice, observation, the universe, vibe, and Zen.


  1. What a beautiful experience! I was once filled with anger and pain. I prayed, wondering what it would be like if we all just loved each other. After many days of focused thought on this, my anger was “lifted” off me and I was able to forgive and love again. It was also very amazing. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s