Many years ago, I didn’t know why I was a people-pleaser. I would please others and then regret it. It happened often and I couldn’t help myself.
I wanted to know why. My thoughts gave me many possible answers. I ignored them all because I knew the answer had to come from within, so I went in to find the answer. After about 4 years of inner search, the answer suddenly came.
My parents didn’t give me any compliments and validations. No matter how well I did, it was not good enough for them. What I couldn’t get from home, I went outside to get it. I pleased other people in exchange for their validation.
This was my subconscious program. I could try to stop my people-pleasing tendency, but that would only address the symptoms, not the cause.
I thought about it for several days until I realized that the only validation I needed was from my conscience, not others. The key is to give myself what I want from others. This key has served me well for many years.
When I started consciously validating myself, my life was greatly improved. It was also not that difficult to stop my people-pleasing tendency.
If you want to know yourself, dig deep into yourself to find the answer. Your thoughts will give you many possible answers, but the real answer is in you.